


Holding On

by CiciWeezil



Series: Mirror of the Soul [3]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Reid Adopts, Reid is great dad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2020-03-08 06:18:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18888883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CiciWeezil/pseuds/CiciWeezil
Summary: "Spencer froze as the words were followed by the tone that indicated the call was ended. He was somewhat thankful for the hang up, because he wasn't sure how he would have responded. All he knew for certain was how he felt about her."You never know how strong you truly are until you've fought for everything you've ever believed in.





	1. Belated Celebration

**Author's Note:**

> I know it's been awhile, but I hope there's some of you still out there, ready to read the next part of Spencer and Emma's saga. And before you guys ask - yes, there is an end to this. And we will get there when we get there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Attention fellow fanfic readers: You're invited to the Discord Server Beta On It: https://discord.gg/7u7qvBU. Here you can interact with me, my beta and fellow ficwriter Leahcar260, and other readers. Come join us!

“Why would anyone want to run that much?” Emma asked, munching on her breakfast. It was a sunny Saturday at the park, where Reid, Emma, Ellie and Jack gathered at the table with cinnamon rolls and orange juice, counting the number of times Hotch ran past them.

“Same reason you like horseback riding,” Reid replied.

“How many laps is he at now?” Ellie asked.

“11.43,” Emma said.

“Are you making that up?” asked Jack.

“Maybe,” Emma said with an evil smile. “But how will you ever know?”

Ellie and Jack turned to Reid, who, they were sure, knew exactly how far Hotch had run, down to the centimeter. Reid, however, was watching Hotch talking to a lovely young woman. He seemed to be enjoying his conversation with her.

Jack pulled on his shirt. “Spencer!”

“Huh?” Reid turned to the boy sitting next to him.

“How far has Dad run today?” Jack asked.

“Oh, about… 5.6 miles. That’s about 11 and a half laps.” Reid said, trying not to make it too complicated for the kids. He wondered vaguely why Ellie and Jack were glaring at his daughter. 

The Doctor Who theme song started playing in Reid’s pocket.

“Are you kidding me?” Emma cried as Reid answered it. “We haven’t even finished breakfast!”

“Maybe it’s just his mom.” Ellie offered.

Emma scoffed. “Yeah? Is Grandma calling Hotch, too?” 

The three children groaned as they turned to see Hotch approaching, talking to someone on the phone.

“Yeah, alright, Garcia.” Reid said.

“We’ll be there as soon as we drop the kids off at Jessica’s.” Hotch said. “Have everyone meet on the plane.”

“Let me guess,” said Ellie. “You have a case.”

Reid nodded.

“But it’s a Saturday!” Emma cried.

“Bad guys don’t take days off,” said Jack, cleaning up the table.

The looks of betrayal the girls gave Jack were priceless.

Half an hour later, the children waved goodbye to them from Jessica’s front lawn, and Hotch pulled onto the highway toward Quantico.

The two of them were quiet at first, until Reid could no longer hold in his curiosity. 

“So, who was that you were talking to?” Reid asked.

“What?”

“The woman in the park. It looked like you two were having a good chat.”

“Oh, she’s someone I’ve seen around during my training for the triathlon,” Hotch explained. “We were properly introduced today. Her name is Beth, and she’s training for the MS triathlon.”

“That’s this month,” Reid said.

“Mm-hmm.” Hotch said, unsurprised that Reid knew a random date like that.

They didn’t talk much more about it, their minds turning to the case they were about to take on.

* * *

“You can’t go!” Emma cried. “You promised!”

“I’m sorry, Butterfly, but I have to.” It pained Reid to hear his daughter so upset, but they both knew he had a job to do. 

“I can’t go without you! It’s a Family Ride, and you’re the only family I have!”

Paisley looked a little hurt across the room.

“Paisley, you’re family, too, but you’ve got a big test,” Emma added before turning back to his father. “Daddy, you said you would go on this trail ride with me.”

Reid knelt down. “Emma, the BAU needs my help, and I’ve got to go. But I promise I will do everything I can to get back here in time for our trail ride.”

“And if you don’t?” Emma asked, staring at the buttons on his shirt.

Reid was quiet for a moment, thinking about what to say. Finally, he lifted her face up so that she could see the honesty in his eyes. “If we miss the family trail ride, then we’ll take the first chance we get to go on a different one together.”

Emma nodded. Reid knew it wouldn’t be the same, but any quality time they could have together was worth it.

“I love you, Emma,” said Reid.

“Love you, too, Daddy,” came the reply, followed by a hug and a kiss.

And then she was gone, running to catch up to Paisley, who was halfway to the car.

* * *

“Happy birthday!” 

Reid was startled by his team’s way of greeting. “What’s all this?”

“Uh, your birthday party?” Morgan said.

“My birthday was in October…” Reid said. “It’s January…”

“Yeah, we know,” JJ said. “But somehow, all of us forgot about it, and we felt really bad.”

“Oh, um, it’s all right,” Reid said. “I went to see a movie with Emma and Adam, and then we went out to dinner. It was Adam’s birthday, too.”

“So we bought a cake for nothing?” Morgan asked.

“Well, we’re not taking it back,” Rossi said. “I don’t know about you, but I don’t need an excuse to eat cake.”

“That’s fine,” Reid said. “Let me know how it tastes, because I have to go.”

“Where?” asked Morgan. “What could be more important than cake?”

“A family trail ride with my daughter,” Reid replied. “It’s in two hours, and if I don’t leave right now, we’ll be late.”

The team was speechless as Reid dashed out of the office.

“I don’t know how you guys do it,” said Garcia.

“Do what?” asked JJ.

“Balance parenting and this job.” 

JJ and Hotch shared knowing glances.

“It’s never easy to raise a child,” said Rossi.

Morgan nodded. “Speaking of which, I’d better get home before Ellie hides my CDs again.”

Rossi quirked an eyebrow. “Is that her passive aggressive way of saying you’re gone too much?”

Morgan laughed. “She only does it if I take too long to get home after we land.”

“Sounds like you and Reid have similar situations,” JJ said.

“Yeah, I never thought I’d have so much in common with a guy who idolizes Doctor Who and has three Ph.d.’s,” said Morgan, grabbing his stuff and bidding farewell to his team.

“Is no one going to help me eat this?” asked Rossi.

Prentiss walked by at that moment, volunteering herself to eat cake. “Did you know ‘Happy Birthday’ is spelled wrong?”

“Morgan ordered it,” Rossi explained. “Hence the name, ‘Pretty Boy’ instead of Spencer. You should have seen the bakers laughing when I picked it up.”

Prentiss snickered.

“Yeah, it looked a lot like that.” Rossi opened the lid, and started cutting pieces for himself, Prentiss, Hotch, JJ, and Garcia. “Who wants the P in pretty?”


	2. The Green Fairy

“Whoo!” Beth cried, laughing. “I win!”

Hotch scoffed. “Really? You know, you don’t win if you cheat!” 

Only moments before, the two had been racing to a bike rack they’d designated as the finish line. They’d been neck and neck until Beth had cried out and stopped. Hotch had turned around to see her hopping on one foot, and returned to her to be sure she was alright. Beth, of course, had then shouted she was going to beat Hotch, and sprinted to the finish line.

“Come on! You just have to learn to keep up!” 

The two of them bantered as they returned to the picnic table that Reid, Morgan, and the children were at.

“I’m telling you,” Reid was saying. “I never have been, nor will I ever be, an athletic person.”

“It’s all in your mindset,” said Morgan. “If you believe something about yourself, eventually it becomes true.”

“You know, Daddy,” said Emma. “You ride horses just fine, and that takes a lot of leg muscles.”

“You ride horses?” Beth asked as she and Hotch sat down.

“Emma does,” Reid explained. “She’s taking courses as part of a school program. I’ve only ridden with her a few times.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “He rides like a pro, though. I’m certain he was a derby racer in another life.”

Ellie eyed the three FBI agents at the table. “Wow, that is something.”

“What?” asked Morgan.

“It’s been hours…” said Ellie. “And no one’s phone is ringing.”

Reid’s phone pinged at that moment, causing Jack and Emma to turn on Ellie. 

“You jinxed it!” cried Jack.

“Why? Why does this always happen?” Emma asked the sky dramatically.

Ellie stared intently at Reid as he read the message.

“Careful, you might bore holes into his cardigan,” said Beth. But her words only made Emma and Jack stare at Reid, too.

“What is it, Spencer?” asked Morgan.

Reid glanced up from his phone. “Hm? Oh, nothing. Paisley was wondering what you wanted for dinner, Emma. She said you weren’t answering your phone.”

Emma checked her phone, which she’d turned to silent, and answered her caretaker. 

“No case?” asked Ellie.

“No, no case,” Reid confirmed. 

The children sighed happily. 

“We still have to go to Quantico, though,” said Morgan. “And you three have to go to school.”

Three more sighs followed. 

“It’s about time to go,” said Hotch. “Shall we?”

They packed up their picnic breakfast and bid farewell to each other. Since their kids all went to different schools, they all had to leave separately.

Beth was parked next to Hotch, who quickly, yet awkwardly, asked her on a date. It was going to Valentine’s day soon, after all. She accepted and happily got in her car. 

Jack sniggered as Hotch got into his car. His father turned around and raised an eyebrow at him. Jack simply giggled again. 

And at that moment, Hotch’s phone rang.

“Noooo!” Jack whined. 

Hotch read the name, and sighed. “At least it didn’t interrupt breakfast…”

* * *

“What plans have you got tonight?” Morgan asked Rossi on the plane ride home from a particularly interesting case in which JJ had totally kicked ass. 

Rossi chuckled. “Are you asking me if I have a date for Valentine’s day? No, I don’t. Penelope, Emily and I are going to a bar, though.”

“Why wasn’t I invited?” asked Morgan.

“We thought you had plans,” said Rossi. “But if you don’t, then by all means come join us.”

Garcia popped up on the screen just then. “Oh, don’t you guys worry. I just got off the phone with Paisley. She and I planned a surprise sleepover for all the kids at Reid’s house while the rest of us par-tay. So, any singles, no excuses.”

JJ shook her head. “Sorry, guys, I have plans with Will.”

They turned to Hotch, whose poker face revealed nothing.

“Oh, don’t worry,” said Morgan. “Jack’s already spilled the beans. We know you have plans with Beth.”

Hotch gave them a rare smile. “He’s not very good at keeping secrets, is he?”

“Why would you keep that a secret?” asked Garcia. “It’s so sweet! Oh, and by the way, Superwoman,” she said to JJ. “I texted Will, and he’s changed your plans to take-out. He thought you’d be more relaxed at home after kicking ass today.”

“You have all the bases covered, don’t you?” said JJ.

Garcia rolled her eyes. “Except Reid, yes, I do.” 

They all turned to Reid.

“You are going out with us tonight, aren’t you?” asked Emily.

“Actually, Adam and I were going to see Star Wars Episode I in theaters tonight. They’re showing it in 3D, and -”

“Reid,” said Garcia. “As friends or… not as friends?”

Reid sighed. “Friends… just friends. Neither of us had plans so we decided to go see a movie.”

“It’s always a movie,” Morgan said. “Doesn’t he do anything else?”

Reid shrugged. “He likes baking, too.”

When the plane landed, the team wrapped things up in the bullpit and headed out. Reid drove to Adam’s house, where they took Adam’s car to the theater. JJ went home to embrace her fiancé, and Hotch picked up some flowers and chocolates before heading over to Beth’s.

The rest of the team decided what bar to go to and set out for a night full of laughter and possibly very bad puns, to be subsequently followed by hangovers.

* * *

“Garcia paid good money for those salsa lessons,” Prentiss was saying when Reid arrived in the round table room a week later.

“I’ll get a sitter,” said JJ.

“Salsa lessons?” asked Reid, taking a seat next to JJ.

“Please tell me you’re not busy Saturday night, Reid,” said Garcia. Prentiss and JJ looked at his hopefully. 

Reid glanced between all three of them, taking note of the five-hour energy in front of JJ and shook his head. “I’m not busy Saturday.”

“Great! You get to spend some time with your favorite godson!” cried Garcia. 

“Emma will be happy to hear that,” said Reid as Morgan sat down next to him.

“Let’s get started,” said Hotch as he and Rossi entered.

“Okay, Atlanta field office has a serial on their hands,” said Garcia. “Two prostitutes stabbed and staged in the last two weeks.”

* * *

The crowd cheered as each runner crossed the finish line. Emma was piggy-backed on Reid’s back while Jack sat on Morgan’s shoulders, giving them both a better view. Ellie, too big to be picked up anymore, instead held Henry on her shoulders in a similar fashion to her foster father. The whole team waited patiently for Hotch.

“Any regrets, ladies?” asked Reid as he took a break from cheering. 

“Why are you yelling?” asked JJ in a monotone voice. She, Prentiss and Garcia all wore sunglasses, and cringed each time Emma cheered.

“Make him stop,” said Prentiss.

“Hey, Jack,” said Morgan. “Earmuffs for a minute, earmuffs.”

Jack covered his ears and continued looking for his father.

Morgan turned back to the women and Reid. “What did you guys drink last night?”

“What didn’t they drink?” asked Reid, who’d told Emma to cover her ears as well. JJ weakly bopped him in the stomach.

“The Green Fairy,” said Garcia. “You’re in the FBI. Could you get the entire crowd to stop cheering?”

“By my estimates, Hotch will be finishing any minute,” Reid said. 

“Do you see him, Uncle Dave?” asked Jack.

“I think I do, kiddo,” said Rossi, motioning towards the track.

“There he is!” shouted Morgan, trying to point and hold on to Jack at the same time. All of the children and the men cheered loudly while the women covered their ears in pain.

“You did it!” cried Jack, running up to his father moments later. 

“I did! Can you believe it?” asked Hotch happily.

“I had money that the swim would kill you,” said Prentiss.

“I practiced,” Hotch assured her. Along with running and cycling, Hotch had spent many hours at the local pool, swimming lap after lap while Morgan and Reid taught the children how to swim. Even JJ and Will had joined them a few times, taking Henry in the kiddie pool.

“You guys wanna get something to eat?” asked Reid.

“Oh, God, yes,” said JJ. “Something greasy.”

Prentiss and Garcia echoed her.

“Hotchner!” cried a female voice behind them.

“It’s Beth!” cried Jack, grabbing his father’s hand and dragging him over to the beautiful woman who had been training with his father.

While Jack and Hotch talked to Beth, Rossi turned to the team.

“There’s a good burger and fries place a quarter mile from here,” said Rossi.

“That sounds heavenly,” said Garcia.

“Did the green fairy make you want greasy food?” asked Emma.

“You were not supposed to hear that conversation,” said Reid, but he looked more amused than upset.

“What? Curiosity killed the cat, not the little girl,” said Emma. 

“Idioms are not a valid form of defense,” Reid told her.

“Oh, fine,” said Emma, turning to Rossi. “Do they have milkshakes at the burgers and fries place?”


	3. Cyndi

“Is Garcia alright?” Reid asked after they’d given a profile of a serial spree killer who was after foster parents. He’d pulled Morgan into the hallway for a quick talk.

Morgan sighed. “What makes you ask that?”

“You’ve been ignoring her calls. She’s texted me twice to ask what you were doing,” Reid said. “She seemed really concerned yesterday about your conversation with Kevin. What were you talking about?”

“Nothing important,” said Morgan. “Just guy stuff.”

“Saying ‘guy stuff’ works on women,” said Reid. “Not other men. You know, I’ve gone over all of the scenarios in my head and I think I figured it out.”

“Have you now?”

“Yeah, there’s really only one thing Kevin would talk to you about,” said Reid. “Has he already bought the ring?”

Morgan was saved from answering by Hotch calling them both over.

* * *

Reid read the email on his computer and took a deep breath. He quickly dialed the number on the screen. An old friend of his knew someone who might be able to help with his headaches, but contacting her was difficult.

“Hey, it’s Reid,” he said. “Yeah… really? Wow, thanks. Of course… Yeah, I’ll be discreet… Got it, bye.”

A few hours later, he stepped inside a random phone booth and dialed the number his friend had given him. He let it ring, hung up and waited.

A minute later, the phone rang, and he answered. 

“Hello?” he said nervously. “This is Dr. Spencer Reid.”

For a moment, it seemed like there was no one there.

“Dr. Reid,” said a soft female voice. “I heard you needed an expert.”

“Can you help me?” asked Reid hopefully.

“Maybe,” came the reply.

* * *

“So your cousin fled Chicago eight years ago because a co-worker was stalking her?” asked Prentiss on the plane. Reid was next to her, reading the file that Garcia had so graciously printed for her.

They were on their way to Chicago, Morgan’s home city, where he and Ellie had flown to the day before after his sister was in a car accident. Desiree had seen something she never thought she’d see again- their cousin, Cindi Burns.

“Yeah, a guy named John Hitchens,” said Morgan over the phone. “Cindi and Yvonne came to me and asked me if they should be worried. Her emails and phone calls showed classic stalker behavior.”

“Multiple messages every hour,” Reid said. “Gifts he sent which she later returned. That would enrage a stalker.”

“But until they become violent, they’re smart enough to skirt the law,” said Morgan, who stood just outside his cousin’s hospital room. He’d sent his mother home, and Ellie with her. “Human resources at the investment bank wouldn’t do anything, and Chicago P.D. couldn’t. So Yvonne and I convinced Cindi to move. She contacted us from Charleston on her way to Savannah. And then she was gone.”

“And Hitchens blew his brains out two weeks later in Chicago,” Prentiss finished. “That was good enough for the local P.D. to conclude that he’d killed her.”

“Except for one major detail,” Morgan added. “We never found the body. If his endgame was suicide, he wasn’t organized enough to dispose of the body that permanently. That’s why I never stopped looking. I just didn’t think she would surface right back here in Chicago.”

“We need to reopen both cases,” said Hotch. “Both Cindi’s disappearance and Hitchens’ suicide. The discrepancies in each with explain her current behavior. Morgan, I need to talk to you when we land.”

“I can’t wait,” Morgan said, no humor in his voice for once. He hung up.

Reid glanced at each of his teammates. He understood why Morgan had lied back in Miami, and all he wanted to do was help him get his cousin back.

* * *

“Ellie, this is your cousin, Anthony,” said Derek, his voice calm but full of emotion. “And your Aunt Cindi.”

“Hello,” said Ellie, suddenly very shy. She’d heard a little about Cindi before - seen pictures and listened to stories about her as a child - but now she was finally meeting her. It was like a story had suddenly come to life in front of her.

“It’s nice to meet you, Ellie,” said Cindi. “I’ve heard a little bit about you.”

Ellie smiled. “I’ve heard about you, too, from Grandma.”

Derek had brought her to Chicago twice before Desiree’s accident, introducing her to his family. Although she did not look like them, they had accepted her as their first niece and grandchild very easily. It was after the second visit that Derek had said he wanted to adopt her, and Ellie had accepted without hesitation. Although she may never call him ‘Dad’, she definitely saw him as a parent, a father figure, and a hero. He understood her like no one else, not even Emma or Luwi or Kali, could.

And so the adoption process had begun, with the help of Spencer’s agent, Heather McKinney. After clearing up the issue of who would care for her while Derek was at work (Paisley and Jessica both volunteered), they’d started filling out paperwork.

It would still take awhile, but Ellie felt like her life was coming together - she had a family who wanted and loved her, friends who cared about her, and a half dozen surrogate aunts and uncles who would, probably literally, kill for her.

Sure, it was hard having Derek gone half the time, but she knew firsthand what he was doing and why he was doing it. There were people just like her who needed him, and she wanted him to save as many as he could.

Derek was on the phone now. “Thanks, Hotch. Yeah, um… we were going to stay a few more days… I appreciate that, man. Clooney? No, don’t worry, Reid said he’d take dogsit. He and Chewie get along great… Yeah, I’m going to call her school in the morning. It’s the end of the school year, so all they’re doing is review for the tests.” Derek chuckled. “Yeah, I got it. I’ll let you know when we’re boarding the plane. See you soon.”

He turned to find Ellie. “Well, you think your teacher will be upset if you miss a few days?”

Ellie scoffed. “Of course she will. I have perfect attendance, grades and behavior. You know the only thing that keeps teachers sane are kids like me, right?”

Morgan gave her a half-grin. “Well, hopefully she’ll last until Thursday.”

“She still has some of the chocolate I gave her for Easter, so she’ll be fine,” Ellie assured him. 

“Good, now come on, we’ve got long-lost cousins to see.”

* * *

“Orthophobia,” said Reid, sorting through a file. “Fear of owning personal property.”

He could feel the look Prentiss was giving him. She, Garcia, and JJ had been discussing Prentiss’ latest milestone - buying a house.

“No, I don’t have a fear of owning stuff,” Prentiss cried as the four of them made their way to the round table room. “Turn me loose in a shoe store, I’ll prove that. My fear is personal property that weighs three hundred tons.”

His eyes still on the file in his hands, Reid replied, “Actually, depending on materials used, square footage, and horizontal versus vertical construction, the average house only weighs about sixty tons.”

“Well, thanks for that, Reid,” said Prentiss, exasperated and impressed at the same time. “I feel light as a bird already.”

Rossi, Morgan, and Hotchner were already there. 

“What have we got, Baby Girl?” asked Morgan, handing her the remote she used for their briefings.

“Thank you, sir. We have a killing in Enid, Oklahoma, and not the capital punishment one you are thinking of right now,” said Garcia, referring to a recent execution by firing squad in the state. “I’m talking about a woman named Cara Smith, who was murdered in her apartment minutes after the execution of Rodney Garrett.”

It was an amazing skill they all had - to be able to switch from their daily lives into “FBI agent mode” in an instant, like someone changing channels on the TV. One minute they were talking about house-hunting, and the next, a woman who was brutally murdered.

* * *

After finally catching Garrett, the team was trying to catch a moment of sleep when Garcia called them through video chat.

“Oh, hey guys, hey,” said Garcia. “I just wanted to see what was going on. Hi, hello.”

Her greeting stirred most of them from sleep, and Prentiss said what they were all thinking.

“This better be important, Garcia.”

“Oh, it’s nothing,” she said. “It’s just that a messenger came by the office today with some papers from Escrow!”

Prentiss was shocked. “No!”

“Oh, yes, the house in Dupont Circle,” said Garcia, throwing rolled up paper at the camera in excitement. “You got it! Whoo!”

Prentiss looked ecstatic.

“Congratulations,” said Hotch.

Her face changed very suddenly.

“Six seconds,” said Rossi. “Fastest case of buyer’s remorse ever.”

Even Hotch couldn’t hide his amusement.

“Well,” said Morgan as he and JJ joined the group. “I say the moment we land, we all head over to Ziggy’s and clear out the champagne inventory.”

“And talk Prentiss down off the ledge,” said JJ.

“Oh, my stomach doesn’t feel so hot,” said Prentiss, looking sick.

JJ made an empathetic sound and changed the subject. “I was in the middle of the best dream. I dreamt that I was at this exclusive salon getting my hair done.”

Reid couldn’t help himself. “Ah, the psychotherapeutic benefits of dreams - purging unpleasant images and replacing them with good ones.”

“‘Unpleasant’ is putting it mildly,” said JJ.

* * *

The morning after their return home, Reid found himself once again walking away from a phone booth. The doctor he’d been talking to - a geneticist named Maeve Donovan - had given him a preliminary treatment for his headaches. He just had to go through the right channels to get the prescriptions. 

He couldn’t help but smile each time he thought of her, even though he’d never seen her.

They’d spoken a few times over the phone, and it turned out she was incredibly smart and had a sense of humor similar to Reid’s. He very much wanted to meet her, but she’d explained the reason for their method of communication during their last conversation.

Maeve had a stalker, who had frightened her so much she’d gone into hiding, was using an alias, and rarely left her home. For reasons she wouldn’t tell him, though, she trusted Reid, and had told him her real name. Unfortunately, she refused to see him, believing her stalker would find out about him and hurt him.

So Reid returned to his car and drove away once again, hoping beyond hope that one day, he could put a face to her name.


	4. Worth It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! I'm adding a chapter note to inform you all that I'm taking a short hiatus. With the school year beginning, I don't expect to have the time or focus to work on any of my fics for the next month. I should get back to it by mid-September or so, and if you've been reading my stories for awhile then you know I always keep to those promises. See you all soon!

“Is it worth it?” asked a student in the audience.

“For every life we save?” asked Rossi. He and the team stood behind podiums. “Damn right it is.”

“Absolutely, it’s worth it,” said Derek.

“I can’t imagine doing anything else,” said Reid.

“Yes, Mr. Zimmerman?” said Rossi as the young man’s hand rose once again. 

“So, you have to go visit this guy every year to get the name of another victim,” said Zimmerman. 

“That’s right,” said Rossi.

“So what was the special day of his choosing?” he asked.

* * *

“You really don’t want us to go with you?” asked Prentiss as they all filed out of the building where they’d given the lecture.

“It’s no trouble at all,” Reid assured him.

“No, it’s okay,” said Rossi. 

“Rossi, it’s like two hours away,” said JJ.

“Come on,” said Morgan. “I can drive. I’ll get us there in less than an hour.”

“I’m good, really,” said Rossi.

“We could stop for dinner on the way home,” offered Garcia.

“Stop,” Rossi said as they reached the bottom of the steps. “All of you. I’ll be fine.”

“We’ll see you tomorrow,” said Hotch.

Rossi gave him a thumbs up and said, “You bet.”

Then he walked away.

“Is he gonna be okay?” asked Garcia.

“Of course he is,” said Prentiss. “It’s Rossi.”

“Did anyone say it?” asked Reid. 

The others shook their heads. 

Reid pulled out his phone and, with an approving glance from Hotch, he typed two words and pressed send.

Rossi’s phone pinged just as he was getting in the car.

 _Happy Birthday._

“Thanks, Reid,” he said aloud, putting his phone away and turning the key.


	5. LaMontagne

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a minute, hasn't it?
> 
> I meant to post yesterday, on Friday the 13th, as it's a lucky day for my family and me. My grandfather on my mom's side was a POW in WWII, and he attempted to escape three times. The third time, he was successful, and the date happened to be Friday the 13th. The number 3 has been a recurring number in my family as well. I suppose that's why I love arithmancy so much. Not maths, though. I don't like maths.
> 
> Sorry, went down a rabbit trail. Anyways, this is the latest chapter. I hope you enjoy, and please leave a comment below.

It was a very awkward moment.

Reid, Emma and Garcia were face to face with Kevin, who Garcia had recently broken things off with, and a coworker. All five of them were dressed as Doctor Who characters.

“CSU technician Sharp,” said Garcia. “How are you?”

“Fine,” said the woman dressed like Amy Pond. “You?”

“I am also fine,” she replied. “Okay, well, see you.”

“You’re not gonna go in?” asked Kevin.

“Oh, we just went in and it was super lame, so we were leaving,” Garcia said, grabbing Reid by the sleeve and dragging him away. Reid pulled his daughter along with him.

“Oh, well great costume,” said Kevin as they walked away.

“Yeah, you, too.”

“Well, that was short-lived,” said Emma, who was dressed like the tenth doctor. She adored David Tennant. “I guess we’ll be saving these costumes for Halloween, then?”

She gave them both an annoyed and expectant look. 

“Looks like it,” said Reid, turning back to Garcia. “That was awkward.”

“Oh, my God. We used to come every year,” she said. “I can’t believe he brought someone else.”

“You brought someone else,” said Emma. “Two someones.”

“It’s not the same with you two,” Garcia told her. 

“Whoa, Rossi!” cried Reid.

Rossi, who stood in front of them with his jacket slung over his shoulder, turned to look at them. “Why doesn’t this surprise me?”

“You and me both, Chief,” said Emma. “I’d better get pizza out of this.”

“Are you here for the convention?” asked Reid, purposely ignoring his daughter’s comment.

“Who schedules a cigar aficionado event back to back with… this?” asked Rossi, motioning to their costumes.

“I know, right? It’s the greatest party ever,” said Reid.

“Well, it was gonna be,” said Emma.

“Unless it involves Gentleman Jack and Pre-Embargo Cuban Cigars, I find that statement to be highly dubious.”

“Kevin brought another woman,” said Garcia. “I’m plotting revenge, you wanna help?”

“I volunteer,” said Emma, obviously blaming the male FBI nerd for her missing the ‘greatest party ever’.

Rossi sighed. “No… Now, you know I love you all, but this is Saturday, and it is my day off, so I’d prefer to love you from afar. So, have fun. He turned to the road, where his car had just arrived. “It’s my bedtime.”

“It’s nine A.M.,” said Reid.

“You’re judging me?”

As he pulled away, Emma said, “There were no other events scheduled here today.”

At that moment, Garcia tapped Reid and pointed to a familiar woman who was just exiting a fancy hotel next to the convention center.

“Who is that?” asked Emma.

“Nobody,” said Garcia. “Pizza, was it?”

“Triple cheese with pepperoni and pineapple, please,” said Emma.

* * *

“And this was supposed to be our day off,” said Morgan as they approached the bank when a team called the ‘Face Cards’ had taken hostages. They were already dressed in bullet-proof vests, guns holstered but loaded. A large black semi had arrived, containing everything they’d need to set up a mobile command center.

Reid nodded. “Well, we can’t sit idly by when one of our own is involved.”

He knew Morgan agreed with him as they reached Will, who looked shaken.

“Hey, man, we heard what happened,” said Morgan. “You doing okay?”

“I never even saw it coming,” said Will, shaking his head. “I just wish there was something I could have done.”

“Well, it sounds like you took one of them down,” said Reid. “Without medical care, the unsub you shot will mostly likely bleed out.”

JJ arrived just then, running straight for her husband. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” said Will. “It’s definitely them. I only saw the king and the jack, but I figure the queen’s inside, too.”

“The media’s calling them the face cards,” said Hotch. “Seven bank robberies in seven months. They’ve killed one person at each robbery.”

“M.O.?” asked Rossi.

“Single gunshot wound,” Hotch replied. “Each of the victims has bled out.”

“Serial killers with a thirty day cooling off period, and we’re only just hearing about them now?” said Prentiss.

“Well, headquarters has always characterized them as robbers first and killers second,” Hotch explained.

“No one kills seven people without serious psychopathic tendencies,” said Reid.

* * *

The situation in the bank quickly disintegrated. So far, five people were dead, including the Jack and the medic they’d sent in to save him. Prentiss’ old boss, Clyde Easter, had called her and told her that the Queen, who had taken off her mask after they’d figured out the names of the King and Jack, was known by Interpol, though no one knew her real name.

“Garcia caught us up,” said Prentiss as she and JJ joined Will and Morgan. “Why instigate a hostage situation?”

“What’s a narcissist without attention?” asked Morgan. “She thrives on it.”

“She must have something bigger in mind,” said JJ. 

“We need to separate Chris and the female to find out what that is,” said Prentiss.

“That’s not going to be hard,” said Morgan. “They’re already on edge.”

* * *

“No,” said JJ. “No, forget it.”

“JJ, if it means we can end this…” said Will. 

“What makes you think he won’t shoot you the minute you walk inside?” asked JJ.

“Look, he wants out of there just as much as we want him out,” said Will.

“It’s not happening,” said JJ. “Forget it.”

“There’s no guarantee he won’t retaliate for the death of his brother,” said Hotch.

“I know you’d do it if you were me,” said Will.

“Will, I get what you’re feeling, but you are too close to this case to make that call,” said Morgan.

“You’re damn right I’m close,” said Will. “Four people are dead because I shot his brother. And no one else needs to die ‘cause of what I did.”

“This isn’t about you,” said Morgan.

“Risking your life won’t bring them back,” said JJ, her eyes close to tears.

“I’m sorry, Will,” said Hotch.

Prentiss returned a few moments later. “He’s threatening to shoot more unless he has Will.”

“Screw this,” said Will. “I’m going in.”

“No, you’re not,” said Hotch. “We are.”

* * *

“Let me go, Morgan!” cried JJ, fighting to stop her fiance from entering the bank. 

“I can’t do that,” Morgan said.

“Will!” she shouted. But he kept on walking. “Will!” She kicked and fought but Morgan had a tight hold on her. “Will!”

And then he entered the bank. Moments later, a little girl, a mother, and a baby exited the bank.

Gunshots rang out from the bank, and JJ saw a figure collapse inside. 

_No._

_No, please, no._

_Not Will._

_Please not Will._

* * *

No one spoke after Garcia told them they’d lost all videofeed. The cameras had cut off at the exact moment that Will had been shot.

JJ sat in front of one of these screens, which now played only white snow.

“Did you see where he got shot?” 

Garcia looked taken aback.

“Is he alive or dead, Garcia?” 

“I don’t know,” she said, her voice wavering.

“He was wearing a vest,” said Prentiss. “He might be okay.”

“Might be,” said JJ with a fake smile.

* * *

The hostages were free. It was time to storm the castle.

“She’s following the gas lines,” said Reid over the radio. “Garcia, get them out of there.”

“Abort! Abort!” cried Rossi just as the windows shattered and fire poured out of them.

* * *

Ringing. That was all she could hear. An incessant ringing in her ears.

But behind it came a voice. She picked herself up off the glass-covered pavement. 

“JJ, are you alright?” she finally made out the words. 

“Where’s Will?” she asked, not answering Morgan. “Did he get out of there?”

“Where’s Emily?” Morgan asked.

JJ shot straight for the building. She had to find Will.

* * *

“Will’s with them,” said JJ as she and Morgan returned to the mobile command center. “I found his wallet.”

“It benefits them to keep Will alive,” said Hotch.

“They must have a safe house set up,” said Morgan.

“Whoever their outside man is, that’s where they’re heading now,” Prentiss said.

“But where?” asked JJ. “What’s their endgame?”

“There’s no logical reason,” said Rossi. “They want to create panic.”

“She’s struck all over the world, which says she might not be American,” said Reid, having arrived ten minutes before with Kevin from HQ. “but her ideology certainly speaks to Washington. Whatever point she and her partner are making, it’s important that DC is the setting.”

* * *

“Well, of course Will thought Matthew was a hostage,” said Prentiss in the mobile command center. The former marine who had ‘helped’ Will was now missing, and after a little research, they knew he had to be the female’s partner. “Why wouldn’t he? There’s a good chance Will tried to help him out. He told him when to go for the doors, or offered to be a hostage to save the others.”

“I’m sure he did,” said Rossi behind the steering wheel in one of their SUV’s. Next to him, JJ was flipping through Will’s wallet.

“Well, there’s a flip side to this,” said Morgan. “This guy could’ve gotten into Will’s head. ‘Is there anything you want to tell your family, in case you don’t make it?’”

“You think Will told them about JJ and Henry?” asked Rossi.

“Unknowingly,” said Hotch.

“No, no, no,” said JJ. 

“What’s wrong?” asked Rossi.

“Will’s license is gone,” said JJ. “They know where we live.”

* * *

“They say I need another x-ray.”

He could hear her quiet sob in his shoulder. 

“Hey,” said Will. “Hey, come on. No tears. It’s okay. Henry’s safe. It’s all gonna be fine.”

JJ took a deep breath.

“Ask me again.”

“What?”

“Ask me.”

Will suddenly knew what she meant. “Jennifer Jareau, will you marry me?”

With a smile and a nod, she said, “Yeah.”

They kissed and embraced. He grunted in slight pain from the wound on his shoulder. “Oh, it’s about damn time.”

* * *

“The convention’s still happening tomorrow if you want to go,” said Reid, having just hung up with his daughter.

“Um… that whole city-on-the-brink-of-destruction thing kind of took the wind out of my sails, you know?” Garcia replied.

“It’ll do it every time,” said Prentiss.

“We didn’t finish the inspection,” said Morgan.

“No need,” Prentiss told him.

“What happened?” asked Reid.

“Um, there is a horizontal crack in the foundation. It just weakens the entire base that the house is sitting on.”

“Yeah that does not sound good,” said Garcia.

“So, our unsub is Izzy Rogers,” said Strauss, walking in with a file in her hands. “She’ll be charged with multiple counts domestically, and our international counterparts will have their turn with her. She will never see the light of day. I just thought you’d like to know that.”

The others nodded gratefully.

“Agent Morgan?” said Strauss. “A word?”

“Hang on, let me check,” said Hotch, exiting his office with a cell to his ear. “Oh, wait, she’s here. Erin, don’t go anywhere. Dave wants to know if everyone is free tomorrow night?”

* * *

Reid couldn’t help but grin as JJ walked down the aisle. Beside him, Emma gripped his hand tightly.

The day before, he’d wondered if they would all make it home alive. He hadn’t been able to stand being at headquarters while his friends were in danger, and after the explosion, he, along with Kevin, went to find his friends.

But there was still nothing he could do. JJ and Rossi saved Henry from the female unsub, Izzy (JJ, he heard, had kicked some serious ass), while Prentiss managed to stop a bomb blowing up in a train station, taking Will along with it. Morgan and Hotch had taken out the other unsub. And Reid felt as though he hadn’t helped at all. 

He’d mentioned this to Morgan afterwards, who reminded him that it wasn’t his job to kick down doors or stop explosives. He’d helped with the victimology and the profile. He’d assisted Garcia in going through the profile. Without Reid’s brain, there would have been a lot of holes they couldn’t fill.

After that little chat, he felt much better. It helped to be surrounded by friends and family. Rossi had gone out of his way to make tonight special for JJ and Will. 

They would all remember that weekend for the rest of their lives. 

The good and the bad parts.


	6. Butterfly, Butterscotch, Peanut Butter

“So she’s really not coming back?” Emma asked, sorting through the composition notebooks. Just a week ago, Derek and Penelope had accompanied Emily to London to help her settle in.

“She’s promised to visit,” Reid told her. “But I don’t think she’s going to rejoin the BAU.”

Emma sighed, and finally chose some notebooks and folders for the new school year, which was starting soon. She was starting third grade.

They had already picked up paper, crayons, pencils, and everything else on her supply list. Somehow, Emma found a Ravenclaw messenger bag amongst the Dora the Explorers and Spidermans.

“Where to, now?” she asked as they loaded her supplies into the trunk. 

“You need some new gear for the Equestrian team,” said Reid. “Now that you’re in third grade, you’ll start training for the competitions.”

Emma had proven to be a talented rider, and even the most frisky or stubborn of horses relaxed when she was on their back. Thomas, the riding instructor at the stable, was looking forward to the day that Emma was old enough to compete.

Of course, there was one problem. Competitors needed their own horse to participate. The academy’s horses were for training purposes only. 

On their way to the equestrian supply store, Emma read the list.

“I already have some of this stuff,” she said. “Riding tights, gloves, vest, hat, boots…”

“You don’t have show clothing,” Reid said. “And Thomas wants everyone to have a western outfit, too. He starts western riding lessons in January.”

“I’m not sure I’ll like western as much as English,” said Emma. “But look! I need a saddle and bridle and horse blanket! I don’t even have my own horse!”

She looked up at her father as she said this, and when he didn’t answer, she looked past him, out the window.

“What are we doing here?” Emma asked, recognizing her school’s stable.

Reid parked and turned off the car. “Come on.”

“Why?” asked Emma. He smiled back at her and climbed out of the car. With a sigh, she followed him to the stables. There were three buildings: an old farmhouse that had been converted into offices and a dining hall, and two large stables. 

Thomas was waiting outside the second stable, a huge grin on his face.

“There’s my favorite student!” he held out his hand and she gave him a high five.

“Are either of you going to explain why I’m here?” she asked. She’d never been in the show stable before. The student stable was home to the academy’s horses, and all of the students in training helped care for them. But this one only housed horses owned by students who participated in competitions.

“Come on inside and you’ll see,” said Thomas, opening the person-sized door that led into an office. They passed through, into the tack room, and finally, to the main space where all of the stalls were.

Emma smiled at each horse as they passed them. She’d met a couple of them. Delilah, who had won first prize with her rider in last year’s local dressage competition, nickered at them. Next to her was Midnight, munching on some oats. His rider was a high school student who helped teach the younger riders. Together, he and Midnight had won half a dozen rodeo competitions. 

Thomas stopped two stalls down from Midnight. Unlike the others, there were no ribbons displayed on the stall door. “Here we are. Go on and take a look.”

Emma peeked into the stall. A young palomino was sniffing her oats. 

“She’s lovely,” said Emma, confused. “What’s her name?”

“That’s for you to decide,” said her dad.

“What do you-?” Then it dawned on her. She gasped. “Daddy, is she…?”

“Yours? Absolutely,” said Reid with a smile. “She’s very gentle. Do you want to meet her?”

Emma nodded, and very carefully opened the lower half of the stall door. The horse looked at her.

“Hello, there,” Emma said, holding up her hand to be sniffed. The palomino did so, and relaxed, allowing Emma to pet her. “My name is Emma, and I promise to take good care of you.”

“Here you go,” said Thomas, passing her a couple of sugar cubes. “Her favorite snack.”

Emma offered the sugar to her, and the horse whinnied appreciatively. “You’re so perfect.”

“Any ideas for a name?” asked Thomas. 

“I think I’ll call her… Butterscotch,” said Emma. 

Butterscotch nudged her shoulder, and Emma obliged with another sugar cube. “You like your name, girl?”

She received another whinny in response.

“There is one more surprise,” said Thomas. “Butterscotch isn’t the only newcomer here.”

Emma, curious as ever, reluctantly said goodbye to her new horse and followed her teacher and father to the other stable.

“See, not all of our horses are actually owned by the school,” Thomas explained as they walked. “Some of them are retired show horses or racehorses, and their owners are allowed to board them here at the academy stable on the condition that they are gentle enough for our students to ride. In return, they get a discounted price and their horse is regularly exercised.” 

Emma knew this already and wondered why it was so important that she had to leave her new horse before she could even ride her.

The student stable was laid out exactly the same way as the show stable, but it still felt more familiar to Emma. She’d spent the past three years learning about, caring for, and riding each of the horses here. There was Dodger, Hickory, Lucy Q, Moose, Tiger, Starstruck, and Old Ethel, among others. Thomas kept his horse, Pepperjack, in the stall right next to the tack room. The stall next to him was usually empty, but today, it was not. 

Instead, a light brown-colored Mustang with a star on his forehead nickered at them from the door..

“This is my horse,” said Reid, reaching instinctively to calm him. “His name is Peanut Butter. He’s just a little older than Butterscotch.”

“Daddy, you bought a horse for you?” Emma asked incredulously. “So we can ride together?”

Her father nodded and smiled at her, offered Peanut Butter an apple slice.

“Peanut Butter and Butterscotch…” Thomas repeated, shaking his head. “Anyways, Peanut Butter had to be boarded here because he’ll be helping train the younger riders. As I said, not all of our horses are actually ours.”

“Well, at least Peanut Butter will still get exercise when you’re on a case,” said Emma. “I’ll make sure my classmates take good care of him.”

“Thank you, Butterfly,” said Reid. “Now, we’d better go buy some tack and other gear if we’re going to ride them later.”

“Thank you Daddy!” she cried, hugging him.

“Butterfly, Butterscotch, Peanut Butter,” Thomas said. “I’m beginning to see a trend. What does she call you, Nutter Butter?”

Emma laughed as Reid rolled his eyes. “Well, he is a bit of a nutter.”

* * *

“Anyways, welcome to the team, Alex,” said Reid a few days later. Hotch had just introduced her, but she and Spencer already knew each other, so he’d offered to give her a tour and show her to her desk.

“Thank you, Spencer,” Alex Blake replied. “I’m happy to finally be here.”

Reid grimaced as he sat down at his own desk.

“Are you alright?” Alex asked.

“Yeah, just sore,” he replied. “My daughter and I were out at the stables all weekend.”

“Stables?” Alex repeated.

“Emma’s school owns a stable, where they teach students to ride horses and some of them go on to compete,” Reid explained. “We just got our own horses and we spent most of the past two days with them.”

“You ride horses?” asked Alex, a little disbelieving, the same feeling she’d gotten when she found out Reid was a father. He was just full of surprises.

“Yeah, I wasn’t very graceful at first,” said Reid, furrowing his brow. “But I’ve improved a lot.”

“What are their names?” asked Alex.

“Butterscotch is Emma’s,” he said. “And Peanut Butter is mine.”

“Peanut Butter is your what?” asked JJ as she walked up to them.

Rossi was right behind her. “Did I just walk in on one of those conversations that I’d rather walk out of?”

Reid rolled his eyes. “Peanut Butter is the name of my horse.”

“Oh, right, what did Emma name hers?” Rossi asked.

“Butterscotch,” said Reid, grinning.

“I prefer just scotch, myself,” said Rossi. “But I can see the appeal for a child.”

“Anyway, Hotch wants us all in the roundtable room,” said JJ. “We’ve got a case.”

“And since we don’t have Morgan and Garcia, we’re all working double duty,” said Rossi. 

“Well, not a lot of time for you to settle in,” said Reid to Alex.

“That’s alright,” said Alex. “I think I would have been disappointed if we didn’t have a case so quickly.”

* * *

Garcia and Morgan returned from England the day after they finished Blake’s first case, and after an entertaining first introduction between Garcia and Blake, the team set to work on locating the Silencer, a serial killer who had suddenly stopped killing years ago. Apparently, he’d been incarcerated.

It was one of those times Reid actually felt sorry for the unsub. The poor man had suffered a lot of abuse from his mother. It was no excuse for killing, and when faced with prison once again, he’d taken the gun to himself and ended it all. The pain, the suffering, the noise.

It was over.


	7. Expert Help

Reid took a deep breath and held the phone up to his ear. There was no answer, so he said, “Hello?”

“What’s wrong?” came a female voice on the other end.

“Nothing,” he replied.

“Well, it’s not Sunday,” said the woman anxiously. “We talk on Sunday.”

“I know,” said Reid, twiddling the cord of the pay phone around his finger. “I, um, just thought I’d call.”

“Oh,” said the woman. “You scared me.”

Reid took the next minute to assure her that it was not an emergency, and that he was taking all of the medication she’d prescribed. 

“Are you letting your gray matter rest?” she asked.

Reid smiled. He enjoyed her sense of humor so much. Though it took him the better part of the conversation, he finally worked up the courage to say what he’d been meaning to say.

“I think it’s funny how we’ve been doing this for six months and we’ve never met,” Reid told her. “You know, like, one Google search of me and you’ll find my FBI file photo, but I have absolutely no idea what you look like.”

There was a pause on the other end.

“I’ve shaved, by the way, since then,” he added.

“I don’t know what you look like, either,” she admitted.

“Really?” said Reid, surprised.

“No,” she said. “The only intimate part of you I’ve seen is your brain when I studied the MRI you sent me. That’s when I said, this is a guy I need to get to know.”

Reid couldn’t help but grin at that. God, this woman was incredible. 

But the happy moment slipped away as his phone buzzed and he had to say goodbye. Before he let her go though, he had to know.

“Do you think he knows about us?” asked Reid.

“No, as far as I can tell, he doesn’t,” she replied. “And we need to keep it that way.”

* * *

Reid considered himself to be a very analytical mind, and found it easy to set aside his emotions and make logical decisions and conclusions when he needed to. What he found most difficult, however, was pushing away his pride and asking for help. 

And when an unsub starts amputating people’s legs and re-attaching them to other people, asking for help is probably the best thing you can do. And so, Reid found himself walking away from his team and calling up Garcia to find out where the nearest pay phone was.

Moments later, Blake, though confused, was giving him a ride to 5th and Main. Of course, Blake wasn’t just going to let him go. Reid finally had to be honest with her, revealing the existence of the geneticist that he’d started to fall for, but he kept her name to himself.

Finally, Blake gave in, and he made the call.

“Spencer, why are you calling me right now?”

“I know, I know,” said Reid. “It’s important.”

Ten minutes later, Reid returned to the team, called Garcia, and gave her the information they’d been missing. 

“We’re looking for limb deformities in the wife caused by chickenpox,” Reid told her.

“That’s about as narrow as it gets,” said Garcia, right before the search gave her the name. She sent the address to their phones.

And the case was solved. The team returned home and Reid almost escaped from the building. 

Almost.

“Okay, kid, out with it,” said Morgan, blocking his way. Reid somehow managed to escape the confrontation by allowing Morgan to run with his own conclusions, which weren’t far from the truth.

Later, he called her again. He begged her to let him and his team help her, but she didn’t want to endanger him. He accepted this, for now.

“Well, guess I’ll talk to to you next Sunday. Bye,” he said.

“Bye,” she replied. “Love you.”

Spencer froze as the words were followed by the tone that indicated the call was ended. He was somewhat thankful for the hang up, because he wasn’t sure how he would have responded. 

All he knew for certain was how he felt about her. He loved her.

And now he knew she loved him, too.


	8. I Swear

“What do you mean he’s not going?” asked Garcia. “Every kid loves trick-or-treating.”

“Henry’s scared,” JJ told her. “One of his little buddies told him Halloween was the only time when all the real monsters come out because they can blend in.”

“Never thought about that,” said Rossi. “Good monster strategy.”

JJ chuckled and shook her head.

“You did tell him it wasn’t true, right?” asked Garcia.

“Of course I did,” said JJ. “He’s convinced.”

Reid listened to the conversation from his desk, having no advice to give his best friend. He himself had a very logical child wise beyond her years, and rarely had to worry about her having irrational fears. Instead, he tried his best to protect her from the terror of the real world. After Emily, though, it had been rather difficult. 

They went straight into a case after that, and it was until they returned to the BAU Halloween evening that Henry’s problem was solved.

“Is Ellie still young enough to trick-or-treat?” asked Rossi, having just left Hotch, who was on the phone with Beth trying to make plans the following week. 

“She doesn’t think so,” said Morgan. “So, instead, Emma invited her to her school’s haunted house.”

“Sounds like a scream,” said Rossi.

JJ called their attention at that moment.

“As I’m sure some of you were aware,” JJ said. “Henry was a little nervous about going trick-or-treating this year. But he’s decided to go anyway.”

“Great,” said Rossi. “What changed his mind?”

“The BAU did,” said JJ. “I told him that he should go out on Halloween and try to figure out which monsters are real and which ones are not.”

“So he wants to be a profiler,” said Morgan

The others nodded, grinning.

“Ah, he wants to be his favorite profiler,” JJ corrected, waving towards the door to beckon her son in, led by Garcia.

“Wow!” Reid exclaimed, immediately recognizing the nerdiness of Henry’s costume and knowing exactly who he was pretending to be. “Yeah! You look great, Henry! Here, let’s put this on here.” He kneeled down and pinned his own ID to Henry’s shirt. 

The little boy grinned.

“Oh, he’s official,” said Morgan.

“Tell him,” whispered Garcia.

“E equals MC squared!” Henry cried.

Reid cheered and high-fived him. 

“Haunted house time,” said Morgan as they filed out of the bullpen.

* * *

“I don’t know why I agreed to this,” said Reid, holding the bat limply in his hand.

“Ah, come on, man,” said Morgan. “It can’t be as bad as using power tools.”

Reid grimaced at the memory.

“Remember, no thinking,” said Morgan just before Reid had to step up to the plate.

Standing there waiting for the ball to come hurtling towards him, Reid suddenly remembered his daughter’s struggle with the same game, and he knew he had to try.

Trying did not prevent him from getting two strikes, though.

Don’t think, he told himself. Relax. It’s not like someone’ life depends on this. 

That last thought was rather freeing, and when Reid swung the bat again, it made contact with the ball and sent it soaring far into outfield.

“Run, Spence!” cried JJ from the crowd.

And so he did. Years in the field had not prepared him for this, but somehow, he made it to the home plate before the outfield had even retrieved the ball.

Morgan surprised him by literally picking him up. 

“We won, Pretty Boy!” he cried.

* * *

“Reservation for Spencer Reid.”

“Oh, yes,” said the hostess. “Table for two, right?”

Reid nodded and followed her to the small table. This was it. This was the moment.

And then, almost like a spidey-sense, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. 

Something wasn’t right.

He pulled out his phone immediately and dialed.

“Spencer?”

“He’s here,” Spencer said. “Don’t come in.”

She didn’t seem to believe him at first. “Spencer, if you’re having second thoughts, just tell me.”

“No, I’m serious. I really think he’s here.”

“He knows about us?” she asked.

“I’m sorry, I just don’t think it’s safe for you.”

“Okay,” she said, disappointment in her tone.

A moment later, the hostess returned. 

“A woman left this for you, sir,” she said, handing him a gift bag.

In the bag was the exact same book that Spencer had bought for her, The Narrative of John Smith

We got each other the same gift, he thought.

* * *

Reid picked up his ringing phone, but before he could even greet the person on the other end, Morgan said, “Reid, I need you.”

“Morgan? Are you okay?” Reid asked, suddenly very concerned. Morgan had just been shot in the last case, though his vest protected him, leaving him with some bruises.

“It’s not me,” said Morgan. “It’s Ellie. She’s mad at me, and she won’t tell me why. I can’t get her to open the door to her room.”

“Alright, I’m coming,” said Reid. “Do you want me to bring Emma?”

“Please,” said Morgan, hanging up.

Reid tried to process the fact that Morgan had just said ‘please’, and it only made him kick into high gear.

The door to Morgan’s apartment swung open before they could even knock. Emma swooped underneath Morgan’s arm and dutifully knocked on Ellie’s door.

“Little pig, little pig, let me in!” cried Emma in a high-pitched voice.

After a moment, the less enthusiastic reply came. “Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin.”

“Then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and Derek will kick this door down for me!” 

The door opened, though neither man could see Ellie, and Emma stepped inside. The door closed immediately.

Morgan led Reid to the kitchen, where they talked quietly about the issue.

“She’s acted this way ever since I told her I’d been shot,” said Morgan.

“Did you tell her you were fine?” asked Reid.

“Yeah, I did,” said Morgan. “But she got really quiet and went to her room. Every time I’ve tried to talk to her, she’s told me to leave her alone.”

“Maybe the fact that you were shot at all is what’s bothering her,” said Reid. “I mean, Emma was pretty upset when I was shot in the leg, and that wasn’t even life-threatening.”

Morgan looked thoughtful.

“And Ellie’s been through a lot more trauma. She lost her whole family. You’re all she has now. If you die, she has nothing.”

“You’re right,” said Morgan. “But it’s the same for you and Hotch. I mean, JJ has Will, so Henry wouldn’t be left alone.”

“It’s not the same, actually,” said Reid. “If Hotch dies, Jack has Jessica, and he recently named Rossi as godfather. If I die, Emma has JJ and Will as godparents. And if something were to happen to both JJ and Will, Henry has me and Garcia. But you… You have your family all the way in Chicago, so Ellie would have to move across the country again if something happened to you. She’d have to leave behind her whole life.”

Morgan nodded. “Should I name godparents for her, too?”

“It’s a good back-up plan,” said Reid. “It doesn’t mean you’re going to be more reckless with your life just because there’s someone else to take your kid. It just means that if, one day, you don’t come home, the fate of your kid isn’t left to the unknown.”

“I knew you were smart, Pretty Boy,” said Morgan. “But I didn’t know you were wise.”

When Emma and Ellie emerged from the room a few minutes later, Ellie looked ready to talk. Reid and Emma left them to have the discussion privately. When Reid got home, his phone dinged. He opened the text from Morgan.

_You were right, Pretty Boy,_

A few weeks later, the paperwork was finalized and Hotch was named godfather to Ellie. As the papers were signed, Morgan turned to Ellie.

“Ell, I need you to know that this is just a back-up plan. It’s a worse-case scenario,” he said. When Ellie nodded, he continued. “I might come home sometimes with cuts and bruises, and sometimes I’ll end up in the hospital, but I swear to you I will do everything in my power to come home. And if I ever break that promise, I know that Hotch will be there to protect you and keep you with our family and friends. Baby, you are so loved, and not just by me. By all of us.”

At this point, tears were spilling out of the girl’s eyes. “I love you, too, Derek. And the whole team.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got tears in my eyes revising the ending of this chapter. I just rewatched the episode where Ellie ends up in Washington, D.C. and the team isn't sure what to do and I was just like GD Derek! Just adopt her!


	9. Thesis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I briefly considered splitting this chapter into two parts. But I didn't have the heart for it.
> 
> Attention fellow fanfic readers: You're invited to the Discord Server Beta On It: https://discord.gg/Dz57SC. Here you can interact with me, my beta and fellow ficwriter Leahcar260, and other readers. Come join us!

Spencer’s eyes snapped open, his heart pounding as his body swung into an upright position, the image of a faceless bride fading away. 

A dream, he thought immediately, and he collapsed back onto the bed. 

A second later, his alarm clock blared to life.

An hour later he stood in front of a payphone, dialing, letting it ring, and hanging up immediately. As soon as it began to ring he picked up the receiver.

“Hello,” he said.

“Hello,” came an unfamiliar voice, which Reid realized was the recorded operator. “I have a collect call from…”

“Adam Worth.” 

The deep, heavily distorted voice startled Reid, his heart stopping. Adam Worth was an infamous criminal, the real-life inspiration of Arthur Conan Doyle’s character, Moriarty.

“Do you accept the charges?”

“Yes,” said Reid immediately.

“Please deposit two dollars for the first two minutes,” came the operator again.

Reid scrambled for change, dropping his bag in the process.

“Thank you,” said the operator. And then the call connected.

“Hello, I’m still here,” said Reid.

“Zug… zwang…”

“I’m sorry, can you please repeat that?” Reid said, his heart pounding.

“Zug… zwang…”

The line disconnected.

* * *

Reid stood stock-still in Hotch’s office.

“I got here as quickly as I could,” said Hotch. “What’s wrong?”

“I need to tell you something,” Reid said, and Hotch immediately shut the door, sensing the urgency.

“Our correspondence started ten months ago,” Reid was saying, ten minutes later, laying a pile of letters on the coffee table between them. “She wrote me a compliment on my ‘Journal of Behavioral Psych’ article, and for three months, this is how we communicated because she was scared.”

“Scared of whom?” asked Hotch. 

“She didn’t know, only that he was dangerous… horribly threatening phone calls, letters, emails, no matter where she moved. It’s why I never called her from the same phone booth twice.”

“You don’t know what Maeve looks like?” asked Hotch.

“No,” said Reid, shaking his head.

“Or where she works?”

“No, I know she’s a geneticist.”

“Do you even know her last name?” When Reid shook his head again, Hotch went on: “Then I have to ask you, how do you know she’s missing?”

“Because we always addressed our letters to our pseudonyms,” said Reid, his voice cracking.

“And you’re Dr. Joseph Bell?”

“The real-life inspiration for Sherlock Holmes,” said Reid, trying not to break down. “And that codename is how I know she’s in trouble. The voice on the phone identified himself as Adam Worth. That was the American criminal that Arthur Conan Doyle based the character Moriarty on.”

“And what did he say to you?” asked Hotch.

“Zugzwang,” said Reid. At Hotch’s confusion, he explained. “It’s a chess term. It describes the point in a game when a player realizes he’ll inevitably be checkmated. He has to decide whether to resign or to play through to the bitter end.”

“If you’re right about this,” Hotch said. “Then you’re part of his victimology, too.”

“I know.”

* * *

“He thinks he’ll get away with this,” said Reid to his team in the bullpen. “And he might. I have a wealth of knowledge I should be applying to this case. Behavioral patterns of violent stalkers. Tactical recovery strategies. Victim survival odds…”

He took a deep breath. “But right now I can’t focus on anything more than four seconds at a time. Which makes me the dumbest person in the room. So please help me. Help me find her.”

“We don’t know if we have a case,” said Hotch. “So we’ll be working on personal time. Does anybody want to leave?”

They stared at him.

“Good, let’s get to work.”

* * *

It didn’t take long for Garcia to find Maeve’s last name. 

Dr. Maeve Donovan. She’d taken a sabbatical about ten months ago. 

Her parents had rented a loft in the warehouse district five days ago, the perfect place to hide. Hotch sent Morgan and JJ to the loft, and Blake and Rossi to the lab she had worked at.

Then he turned to Reid. “How clear is your head?”

Reid shook his head, feeling like a child. “Not very clear.”

Hotch stood up. “I want to talk to her parents, but I want you to observe the interview.”

“Reid,” said Garcia quietly. “I have a picture of her. Do you want to see what she looks like?”

Spencer thought about it. “No,” he said, following Hotch.

* * *

Fiance. The word kept repeating over and over in his head. She’d had a fiance. 

It seemed the so-called ‘Bobby’ had moved on from her, though. The door was answered by his girlfriend, who identified herself as Diane.

Reid’s heart stopped the moment he set eyes on him.

Robert Putnam. The man from the restaurant.

And he remembered Reid.

If Bobby was the unsub, then Reid was now a material witness.

So Hotch kicked him out. He kicked him out and Reid could do nothing but wait outside in the hall while Hotch and Rossi talked to Bobby. Before he’d even realized it, Reid was outside, pacing back in forth next to the car.

“Excuse me, doctor?” 

Reid turned to find Diane, the girlfriend, standing there.

“Agent Hotchner said he was done with me upstairs,” she said. “Can you tell me what’s going on?”

“We’ll be in touch, ma’am,” said Morgan, appearing out of nowhere and coming to his rescue as usual. Once she was gone, Morgan turned to Reid, who did not look at him. “All right, kid, talk to me. I can tell you’re adding something up in your head. What is it?”

“Two thousand four hundred and twelve,” said Reid. “It’s the number of hours we spent communicating, counting phone calls and letters.”

“That’s about a hundred days,” said Morgan. 

Any other day, Reid might have been impressed at Morgan’s quick math. “100.5. What if that’s all I get?”

“Well, it’s not.”

“You can’t say that.”

“Yes I can,” said Morgan. “Because when we find her alive and you finally get to lay your eyes on her, what’s the first thing you’re gonna say to her?”

* * *

Spencer was confused. JJ was showing him a photo that the stalker had taken of Bobby and Maeve. Maeve’s face had been scribbled over black.

“I see the message,” said Reid. “‘I’m obliterating you,’ but we already knew that.”

“No, see, it’s not about the message,” JJ explained. “It’s about the medium, what he used to draw on her face. Spence, it’s black eyeliner.”

Everything clicked into place in Reid’s mind suddenly. “The stalker’s a woman.”

“That’s why she masked her voice on the phone,” said JJ. “That’s why Maeve let her into her loft. She thought what we thought, that her stalker was a man. But the question is, how could this unsub have known about Maeve and you?”

Reid blinked.

_“Excuse me, doctor?”_

Reid turned on his heel and dashed over to Hotch’s office. “Hotch, did you ever identify me to Bobby Putnam’s girlfriend?”

“What?” asked Hotch.

“Did you say my name to her? Did you call me Dr. Reid or Agent Reid?”

“I never mentioned you at all. Why?”

_“Excuse me, doctor?”_

“I think I know who the unsub is.”

* * *

“You want to talk here?” asked Reid.

“Yep,” Blake replied. Reid had chosen her to help him sort out his mind. They were now sitting in Reid and Emma’s favorite park, across from each other at a chess board. 

Reid could see Janna Previlus from their playgroup in the distance, her two twin daughters going back and forth on the swingset. He made no move to greet them, however, and prayed they didn’t notice him.

“You play?”

“I know my way around a board, but that’s not the point,” said Blake. “I want you to focus here and not on my questions. So let’s try this out. When you think of Maeve, what’s the first thing that comes to mind?”

“Thomas Merton,” Reid answered. 

“What about him?” asked Blake.

“In her letters, she would always sign off with a quote from one of her favorite philosophers. Camus, Voltaire, Plato. When we had the near miss at the restaurant a couple of weeks ago, she left me a book with a quote by Thomas Merton written inside. It said, ‘Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone. We find it in another.’”

“Then Thomas Merton was her way of saying good-bye,” said Blake.

“Yeah…”

“So if you two had this deep connection where you’re talking in your own code,” Blake continued. “Why do you think the unsub would attack the fiance first?”

“I don’t know,” said Reid. “Access, maybe.”

“No, something links the two of you in the unsub’s mind.”

“She wants to destroy anyone Maeve had a romantic relationship with?”

Blake nodded. “It could be jealousy or revenge. Maybe Maeve got in the way of one of her old relationships?”

“It’s just not her,” said Reid.

“Did you guys ever compare lists?” asked Blake. “The different people you dated?”

A very short list, Reid thought, remembering Austin for a moment. She’d broken up with him just before he’d applied to adopt.

His mind quickly went back to Maeve.

“November 4, 3:46 p.m. I asked her if she dated a lot growing up.”

They talked for several minutes, continuing their game of chess, when Blake mentioned Maeve’s coworkers.

And then it hit him. “What if the unsub worked there but wasn’t a doctor? What if she was a grad student, maybe working on her Ph.D. there?”

“Yeah, but how could Maeve miss her?” asked Blake.

“Each of the doctors has their own project. Each project has its own team of research assistants. They don’t mingle, but they’d be the first applicants for an open position.”

“And if Maeve rejected her thesis, the unsub would take it personally,” said Blake.

“And that rejection has become an obsession to possess.”

* * *

Diane Tanner. That was her real name. After she’d been rejected from a position by Maeve, she’d begun stalking her. And she’d left not long after Maeve had.

And now Reid had made a deal. 

She had given him a clue through Maeve. She left him a present, and if he wanted to find it, it’s easy as pie.

Reid knew what she was doing. Diane wanted him to see her the way he saw Maeve, the smartest girl in the room.

And he’d figured it out. With Garcia’s help, they’d found that Diane had rented a loft next to Maeve’s in her parents’ name.

Reid found a small box outside the building, a pretty blue box. The gift. With his teammates watching, he opened it.

“What is that, a blindfold?” asked Derek.

The intercom at the entrance of the building clicked. “Take your gun and vest off.”

Reid did so.

“Now come in alone.”

He did.

At the top of the stairs, she appeared from around the corner, cocking her gun at him. “Put it on.”

Slowly, Reid put the blindfold over his eyes and tied it behind his head.

Then she led him away - to where, he had no idea, unable to see.

“Can I take the blindfold off?”

“No,” said Diane, forcing him down into a chair.

“Hello,” Reid said, hearing someone breathing in the room.

“Hi,” said Maeve. He was glad to hear her, but he kept control of his microexpressions.

“I was hoping you’d figure out my riddle,” said Diane, standing behind him and touching him sensually on the neck. Her hand slid further down, under his shirt. “I mean, I knew you would. The fun was just how fast you’d do it. All this and brains, too.”

Her hand had slipped down past his chest, to his flat stomach. 

“Took me a long time,” said Reid. “To be honest, I was distracted by your thesis.”

The hand disappeared, and he felt her step away.

“You read my thesis?” asked Diane, surprised.

“I did,” said Reid. “You know, I think your writing puts you on the same plane as Jonas Salk. I’ve already sent it to the NIH.”

Diane made a noise. “Flattery is not gonna get you out of this. I know what’s waiting for me outside.”

“I’ve arranged for your freedom,” Reid told her.

“The federal government doesn’t make deals with people like me,” she said.

“Not true,” said Reid. “Nazi scientists were recruited for the Manhattan Project. Mafia bosses are regularly put into Witness Protection. If what you have is valuable enough, the federal government will work with you. And what you have is very valuable.”

“And what do I have, Doctor?” asked Diane, still not believing him, putting the gun to his chin.

“You have a brain that doesn’t play by normal societal rules,” said Reid. “And I know that all your life the people you care about the most keep leaving. There’s a part of you that thinks it’s because of that brain. Well, I’m here because I’m not going to leave you. I’m here because I just hope that I get the chance.”

“Chance at what?” 

“To be with you. Me for her. That was the deal, right?”

“You’re choosing me over her?” He could hear a soft change in her breathing, as though she were crying.

“Diane, how could it be anyone else?”

“Prove it.”

“All right, how?” he asked.

“Say it again. This time say it to her face.” She pulled off the blindfold.

And there she was.

Maeve.

Reid forced himself not to hesitate, to not think about how beautiful she was, even with the tears in her eyes. 

“I don’t love you,” he said evenly. “Sorry.”

“I understand,” Maeve said.

“I don’t need her anymore,” said Diane, moving toward Maeve with a finality.

“Kill her and she won’t have to live with the fact that you’re smarter. Let her live with her irrelevancy,” said Reid. 

Diane stopped, and turned back to him. “I just want her to see one more thing.”

She knelt down so she was eye-level with Reid, and kissed him.

But Reid didn’t kiss back.

“Liar,” she said. “Liar!”

And she raised the gun at him. Reid reacted instantly, pushing the gun up as she pulled the trigger so that it fired into the ceiling. 

They struggled for a moment, but Reid was taller, and for once, thanks to some self-defense classes with Morgan, stronger than his opponent. As he wrestled the gun away from her, she fell to the ground.

“It’s over, Diane,” he said. “You’re under arrest.”

Morgan and Hotch and the rest of the team burst in at that moment. Diane seemed to realize she was cornered. She shrieked and pounced at Reid.

Morgan fired.

And that was it. Diane Tanner lay lifeless on the ground. Reid didn’t even spare her a second glance, going straight to Maeve.

“Are you okay?” he asked as Blake helped him untie her.

“Yes,” she said. “You didn’t mean it, right?”

Reid looked at her. “I swear, everything I said in the past five minutes was an act. All I wanted was to save you. I love you, Maeve.”

Maeve sobbed, and fell into his arms. 

“It’s okay,” he said, holding her tightly. “You’re safe now. She’ll never hurt you again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to dedicate this chapter to ahowell1993. I know you've been waiting for this chapter longer than anyone else. I just want you to know this was always going to be a Maeve survives fic. And the story isn't over yet.


End file.
